“Inquisitor Stella. Or should I call you Ms. Failure?” Lord Inquisitor Thaddeus Vane said, through a flickering green holographic visage.

Inquisitor Stella sat back in her chair and lit a cigarette, staring intently at the hologram of her high-ranking Inquisitorial ally.

“Lord Inquisitor, let me explain. While it may look like Inquisitorial forces are incompetent, we’ve only lost two thirds of Urbanosprawl Alpha to enemy forces,” Stella said. 

“I see. So the Xeno threats and the forces of Chaos have outwitted you.”

“That’s what I want the arch-enemy to think,” Stella explained further. “To deal with this particular flavour of chaos, we must out-think them.”

“Out-think them… Is this why your pet Living Saint has died six times? Is that why you had a fight with your own forces? Is that why you tried to order an unsanctioned Exterminatus?”

“Saint Belestine has actually been killed thirty-three times, but her record is glitched. It always says six, no matter how many times we log it. As for the infighting, that was just a small misunderstanding which was immediately rectified. Lastly, for the Exterminatus which didn’t quite manifest… I’m sure you read the report mentioning a Daemon Primarch. I needed leverage, just in case.”

“Enough! You will have to put your dreams of blowing up Sangua Terra on hold. There’s an urgent mission you need to oversee. Infiltrate a city south of Urbanosprawl Alpha and retrieve the Planetary Governor. His Arvus Lighter crash landed there while following planetary evacuation.”

“Infiltrate? Keen choice of word.”

“Yes, the city known as New Nachmund is currently being used by the Tau to process Sangua Terra citizens into joining the Tau Empire and waging war on the glorious Imperium. If they actually manage to convince the Planetary Governor to join the Tau… I don’t need to tell you how disastrous that would be.”

Stella coughed smoke out of her lungs. “That would be pretty bad.”

“It is of the utmost importance that you infiltrate New Nachmund, locate and rescue the Planetary Governor, and escape. We cannot lose him to the enemy.”

With that, the Lord Inquisitor’s image vanished and the room went dark. Stella finished her cigarette and made haste to the armoured Inquisitorial Chimera transport parked outside.

“Inquisitor Stella, what news does Lord Inquisitor Thaddeus bring?” High Interregator Constance asked as soon as Stella closed the door.

“The old man wants us to rescue the Planetary Governor from New Nachmund. Are you any good at infiltration missions, Constance?” Stella asked.

Constance considered this for a moment. “That depends. Do the mission parameters allow for chainswords and thunderhammers?”

Stella lit another cigarette and filled the Chimera with smoke. “You bet. Everything which is not forbidden is allowed.”

Constance nodded confidently. “A permissive ruleset, I see. Then let us muster the Void Lions and Emperor’s Daughters.”

*

Corvus Blackstars dropped the Inquisitorial forces into New Nachmund in the dead of night. Stella slipped away from the main force to meet her contact in the sewers, the most foul yet most secure of meeting places.

In a particularly disreputable corner of the underground, a lizardman was crouching over a rodent of unusual size, tearing its guys out like it was an all you can eat buffet.

Stella cleared her throat and gripped the hilt of her force sword, just in case.

“Are you my contact?”

“Well, well if it isn’t the Inquisitor! Why yes, I have information on your missing Planetary Governor,” the lizard man said.

Stella let go of her hilt. “Please tell me that your scaly skin is just an unfortunate mutation and that you’re not a xeno. I’ve got a Deathwatch Commander breathing down my neck.”

“Yes, yes. I’m not a filthy xeno, don’t worry, I just live in the sewers. The only xenos here are the blue-skins on the surface. They are actually pretty chill.”

“You spoke to the Tau occupiers? Are you crazy? You could have been brainwashed!”

“They offered free Corpse-starch and Ion-Blasted Protein bars,” the lizard man explained. “And the only thing they asked for in return was that I take a pamphlet explaining The Greater Good. Then they levelled downtown with a giant mechanised gun on legs. Less chill.”

Stella blinked in disbelief. “Whatever, take me to the Governor’s location and I’ll make sure you get paid. Hang on, let me pin this purity seal onto you first. You won’t get shot by the Inquisition if you wear this.”

The lizard-man looked at the purity seal now pinned to his chest. “What about getting shot by the Tau?”

“Pick your poison, lizard-man.”

*

The armoured Rhino sped through the streets of New Nachmund. The first location they checked had been abandoned, all they found were Tau sympathisers, not worth the ammo loaded in the Stormbolter. At this point, Tau aircraft began raining hell onto the city-block.

“We’ve been detected!” The Sororitas driver shouted.

Stella undid her seatbelt and began firing wildly into the sky with her rifle. “Gee, you think?!”

The lizard-man tapped Stella on the shoulder. “I have just intercepted a Tau message. One of your Mortifiers machines started digging and has accidentally located the Planetary Governor. Also your mission has been compromised.”

“What?” Stella exclaimed. “Why? Where? I didn’t sanction Mortifiers! This wasn’t the plan!”

The Rhino nearly tipped over as it took a hard turn, narrowly avoided a hail of seeker missiles. The hull rattled as debris came knocking.

“That was close, I ne-“

Beep. Beep, beep beep, bpbpbpbpbpbpbp.

Stella looked at the radar screen showing a swarm of flicking red dots, and then turned to the lizard-man. “You might want to undo your seatbelt.”

The Rhino exploded on the second barrage of missiles. Stella and the lizard-man jumped out of the explosion, into a wall of flamers from mechanised suits. 

“Citizen. There is a curfew!” One of the suits said.

The lizard-man jumped in the way and took the brunt of the flamer attacks as the street erupted in fire. “Witness meeeeeeeee!! Aaahghghghghghhhh.”

More explosions knocked Stella out cold. When she regained consciousness, the city block was in ruins, basically atomised. Wreckage of tanks, Space Marines and Crisis Suits filled the roads as it rained burning Greater Good pamphlets.

Stella shoved the crispy corpse of the lizard-man off her and stood up. She was immediately noticed by High Interrogator Constance.

“Inquisitor! You survived! We secured the Planetary Governor. Hopefully we can undo the damage to his mind,” Constance said.

“Great…er… goo-” the barely conscious Planetary Governor mumbled before being slapped by Contance.

Stella was in shock. “We won? We actually did it?”

Nearby, a surviving group of Space Marines and Battle Sisters were jumping in a circle, chanting. “I.O.M! I.O.M!”

“Indeed,” Constance confirmed. “Our forces fought admirably. During the battle, the Stormsurge weapon did some damage to the nuclear power grid, but it’s probably fine.”

With that, they climbed the tallest building left standing and loaded the Planetary Governor into a Corvus Blackstar. With everyone aboard, Stella took one last look at the city.

“So long, New Nachmund. See you in hell-“

An explosion shook the building. Stella lost her footing as the rooftop crumbled and she fell into the fiery debris below. The Corvus Blackstar was forced to retreat as passing enemy forces locked on their missiles, leaving Inquisitor Stella to her fate.

“Well, I guess I’m in charge now,” Contance said, as she ordered their exfiltration.